Nick Kyrgios reveals he used to “drink like a fish” and down up to 30 drinks per night while battling a major depressive episode before also sharing that even today not everything is perfect in his world.
In early 2022, the Australian publicly opened up about his battle with depression and anxiety in a very lengthy Instagram post. At the time, the seven-time ATP winner shared that he was going through a very dark period in 2019 and that he was self-harming himself and even had suicidal thoughts.
Since then, Kyrgios has become somewhat of an ambassador for good mental health and has made himself available for talks to anyone who would like to speak with him. A couple of days ago, the 29-year-old was a guest on the The Louis Theroux Podcast and there he addressed the same topic again.
“I was just struggling with who I was. It was hard at that time and I didn’t feel like I could take a step back from the sport and kind of work on myself and get myself in the right headspace. I was just playing and playing and playing and kind of dealing with everything. And it was a dark time. Like I was drinking and I was spiraling out of control and I was continuing to play and travel. It was a lot,” Kyrgios told Theroux.
After opening up about his drinking issues from the past, the former world No. 13 was asked how much he used to drink during that period: “20 or 30 drinks, easy, I’d drink like a fish. But then just wake up and play Rafa Nadal the next day. Give him a good run for his money.”
Nick Kyrgios© Nick Kyrgios/Instagram – Fair Use
Kyrgios on self-harming himself in the past, his current state
At the time, the Australian tennis star often rocked sleeves on the court, basketball style. But it wasn’t because of stylish purpose but because he wanted to cover scars from his self-harming. But during one tournament, Andy Murray noticed it on the Australian’s body. And he asked him about it.
During 2019 Wimbledon, Kyrgios was at one of his lowest points and that led to him being admitted to a psychiatric ward – that happened after his first-round win over Jordan Thompson and just a night before his second-round meeting against Rafael Nadal.
“It was horrible. I mean, I almost like kind of enjoyed feeling that way — and that’s when I knew I had to get out of it,” the 2022 Wimbledon runner-up said.
Since late 2021, Kyrgios has been in a relationship with Costeen Hatzi and he has often credited her as one of the reasons behind his 2022 success but also for making him happier in life. While the 29-year-old is now in a much better place than he was five years ago, he admits there are still days when he doesn’t feel at his best and he could “instantly” get back to old habits – but he is refusing to do so.
“I fight it most days. Like, I don’t wake up feeling amazing … I feel like I know my steps to get me out of my bad thinking now. I feel like I could go back into those habits in an instant. That’s how it feels. I feel like I could do those things, but I don’t want to. Like, before, I didn’t have any resistance. I don’t want to do that now,” he confessed.
Kyrgios recounts ‘the most racist thing’ he was told
In 2015, Australian swimming legend Dawn Fraser had some very harsh words for Kyrgios and Bernard Tomic, telling them: “If they don’t like it, go back to where their fathers or their parents came from. We don’t need them here in this country if they act like that.”
The 2022 Wimbledon finalist’s father is of Greek origin while his mother is Malaysian. On the other side, Tomic’s parents are of Bosnian and Croatian origin.
When Fraser made those remarks, she was discussing the behavior of the two tennis players. But many deemed her comments as racist and after that, Kyrgios refused to compete at the 2016 Rio de Janeiro Olympics and also hasn’t played in the Davis Cup since 2019.
“One of our sporting legends told me and my family to go back to where we came from. It’s arguably the most racist thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Of course there’s racism [in Australia]. How am I going to go represent a country that one of our greatest sporting ambassadors tells you that?” Kyrgios said.